


Giving up - Giving in

by Luni_Ambrose



Category: Sunrise Avenue (Band)
Genre: Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 22:36:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luni_Ambrose/pseuds/Luni_Ambrose
Summary: Triggerwarning: This story contains suicidal thoughts and a suicide attemptPlease do not read if this triggers you!





	Giving up - Giving in

**Author's Note:**

> Triggerwarning: This story contains suicidal thoughts and a suicide attempt
> 
> Please do not read if this triggers you!

_No way out._   
_The world burning._   
_Crumbling down._   
_Nobody left._   
_All alone._   
_Left to die._   
_My mind is a dangerous place to be._

She always thought she'd never need anyone. But right now she suffered all alone. Wishing there would be someone to talk to.  
Her mind was a dark place. Always had been. Darkness comforted her like a heavy blanket. Wrapped around her itching muscles. The tension hurts.

_Free._   
_I just want to be free._   
_Away from the pain._   
_Away from the silence._   
_I feel my heart._   
_It won’t stop._   
_But I want it to._

When she finally got down to her breaking point she felt grounded. It was time to leave. To get away. To break free.   
In her bra she had the small bottle of clear liquid. A perfectly misusable cleaning solution. It wouldn’t be an easy death. But her life never had been easy.   
Security didn’t even noticed it. This concert would be her last.

_Giving up._   
_Giving in._   
_Broken._   
_Bruised._   
_Battered._   
_Soul detached from the body._   
_Time to fly._

She went straight to the bar, ordering a whiskey Coke and a beer. The venue wasn’t well illuminated. It was easy to pour the drug into her beer. Nobody even noticed her. The opening act entered the stage when she took the first sip.  
It was burning on her tongue. It tasted awful.   
She drowned as much as she could in one go. Taking a moment to swallow down her whiskey. By the time she finished her beer she went to the upper floor.

_What is life about?_   
_Pain._   
_Loneliness._   
_Hate._   
_About fighting a battle nobody could win._   
_Why fight?_   
_In the end everybody dies._

The upper floor was pretty much empty. She found a chair in the back corner. She already felt sleepy. Her stomach starting a rebellion.   
„Are you okay?“ she heard a distant voice. But she felt his breath against her ear.   
She looked directly at the person. It was him.   
He saved her before.

_How many nights I dreamed of being with you._   
_Save in your arms._   
_Snuggled up against your chest._   
_My heartbeat matching yours._   
_My lifesaver._

She wasn’t able to answer as her stomach turned upside down. She turned her head away. Puking all over herself. It was like she was falling through a curtain.  
He quickly got the paramedics over. Her breathing was slow, uneven. She puked all over the floor. It looked like she was drowning.

_Falling._   
_Things felt so easy._   
_Warmth surrounding me._   
_His voice in my ear._

Bright lights shining in her eyes.   
This wasn’t heaven nor hell.  
It was a god damn hospital. She felt the tears forming in her eyes. Somebody holding her hand, gently.   
It was him. Sleeping in a chair right next to the bed. His hand holding hers.   
He saved her.  
Once again.

 


End file.
